You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
