I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Randomize
