I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
