can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Randomize
