At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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