Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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