I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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