No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Everything about him screamed your future.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
