i can't believe i had my finger in that
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
