Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Randomize
