I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
