i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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