I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
