but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
