In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
