I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
