i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
