Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I puked a lego.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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