Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
All I want is dick and wine.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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