I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I wear drunk well.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
