Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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