At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
In America we eat man semen.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
