She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
