Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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