i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
