I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
The best revenge is premature balding
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Randomize
