I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
