hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Randomize
