if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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