THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
