its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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