with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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