We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
