if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
foreskin is a definite game changer
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
