...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
honey bunches of taint.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
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