the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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