I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
