I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
he puts the penis in happiness.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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