this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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