so that wasnt chicken after all
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
