shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
