the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
