I'm going to jail i love you
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
