I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Randomize
