Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
