Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
