i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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