Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I just forgot I was standing up.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
