He is an equal opportunity slut.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Come share oat with me in your robe
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
