I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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