everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
