he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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